what the starbucks oracle told me

i don't actually go to starbucks anymore as the polymath and i would rather get our overpriced beverages at the coffee bean at trinoma. but if i were forced at gunpoint to order a starbucks drink, i would get a tall decaf cappuccino with soymilk, mainly because caffeine makes me nauseous and insomniac, and cow's milk tastes icky sometimes.

now i stumbled over a starbucks oracle which aims to tell me who i am based on my drink preference. i'll let you draw your own conclusion. the last item rings true though. har har de har.

Behold the Oracle's wisdom:

Personality type: Hippie

In addition to being a hippie, you are a hypochondriac health nut. You secretly think that your insistence on only consuming all-natural products is because you're so intelligent and well-informed; it's actually because you're a sucker. You've dabbled in Wicca or other pseudo-religions that attract morons and have changed your sexual orientation a few times this year. You probably live in California. Everyone who drinks tall decaf cappuccino soymilk should be forced to eat a McDonald's bacon cheeseburger.

Also drinks: Beverages with lots of marketing that says they're herbal and organic
Can also be found at: Whole Foods, indoor rock climbing facilities